![\"\"](\"http:\/\/www.janicefergusonsews.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/01\/Glenwood-Church.jpg\" "\\"Glenwood")
<\/a>Glenwood Presbuyterian Church.\u00c2\u00a0 Please disregard the characters in the front. They were there to promote the Vacation Bible School theme.<\/p><\/div>\n
Our new, young pastor had a beautiful wife, Nancy, who was studying liturgical dance and wanted to share the spirituality of it with her new parishioners. Her husband was a little concerned about the reaction of his very traditional congregation to this innovative form of worship.<\/p>\n
He decided it would be best introduced at the upcoming Maundy Thursday service, which had not been held in this church for many years.\u00c2\u00a0 So that evening, in a black leotard and flowing black skirt, the willowy ballerina performed a very moving sacred dance to the music of The Lord’s Prayer.\u00c2\u00a0 It was well received by her husband’s new flock.<\/p>\n
A few weeks prior to this, I had given over my weekly newspaper column,\u00c2\u00a0 “Glenwood News,” to a sweet, naive high school girl with an eye on a journalism career.\u00c2\u00a0 Maundy Thursday she was tending the little ones in the nursery and knew only that Nancy would be dancing.<\/p>\n
Her column a few days later caused quite a stir in the community. After listing the title of the pastor’s sermon, she included this in her description of the service.\u00c2\u00a0 “The minister’s wife did a song and dance act. Everyone loved it.”<\/p>\n
Today, she is a happy, successful young lady.\u00c2\u00a0 But she is not a journalist. ~~~~~~~~<\/p>\n
\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\nCHURCH LADIES WITH TYPEWRITERS ……<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n\n\n\n\n\nThey\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re Back! \u00c2\u00a0Those wonderful Church Bulletins! \u00c2\u00a0Thank God for Church ladies with typewriters. \u00c2\u00a0These sentences (with all the BLOOPERS) actually appeared in Church Bulletins or were announced in Church services:<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes all meals.<\/strong><\/p>\n
The sermon this morning: \u00c2\u00a0<\/strong>\u00e2\u20ac\u02dcJesus Walks on the Water.\u00e2\u20ac\u2122
\n<\/strong>The sermon tonight: \u00c2\u00a0<\/strong>\u00e2\u20ac\u02dcSearching for Jesus.\u00e2\u20ac\u2122
\n<\/strong>
\n<\/strong>Ladies, don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t forget the rummage sale. \u00c2\u00a0It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. \u00c2\u00a0Bring your husbands.<\/strong><\/p>\nRemember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. \u00c2\u00a0Smile at someone who is hard to love. \u00c2\u00a0Say \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcHell\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 to someone who doesn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t care much about you.<\/strong><\/p>\n
Don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t let worry kill you off \u00e2\u20ac\u201c let the Church help.<\/strong><\/p>\n
Miss Charlene Mason sang \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcI will not pass this way again,\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.<\/strong><\/p>\n
For those of you who have children and don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.<\/strong><\/p>\n
Next Thursday there will tryouts for the choir. \u00c2\u00a0They need all the help they can get.<\/strong><\/p>\n
Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the Church. \u00c2\u00a0So ends a friendship that began in their school days.<\/strong><\/p>\n
\u00c2\u00a0A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the Church hall. \u00c2\u00a0Music will follow.
\n<\/strong>
\n<\/strong>At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be: \u00c2\u00a0\u00e2\u20ac\u02dcWhat is Hell?\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 \u00c2\u00a0Come early and listen to our choir practice.<\/strong><\/p>\nEight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration<\/strong>\u00c2\u00a0<\/strong>of some older ones.<\/strong><\/p>\n
Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. \u00c2\u00a0Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
\n<\/strong>
\nPlease place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.<\/strong><\/p>\nThe Church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
\n<\/strong>
\n<\/strong>Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM \u00e2\u20ac\u201c prayer and medication to follow.<\/strong><\/p>\nThe ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. \u00c2\u00a0They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.<\/strong><\/p>\n
This evening at 7:00 PM there will be hymn singing in the park across from the Church. \u00c2\u00a0Bring a blanket and prepare to sin.<\/strong><\/p>\n
The pastor would appreciate it, if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.<\/strong><\/p>\n
Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7:00 PM. \u00c2\u00a0Please use the back door.<\/strong><\/p>\n
The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcHamlet\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 in the Church basement on Friday at 7:00 PM.
\nThe congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.<\/strong><\/p>\nWeight Watchers will meet at 7:00 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. \u00c2\u00a0Please use the large double door at the side entrance.<\/strong><\/p>\n
The Associate Minister unveiled the Church\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s new campaign slogan last Sunday:
\n\u00e2\u20ac\u02dcI Upped My Pledge \u00e2\u20ac\u201c Up Yours.<\/strong> <\/strong><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/blockquote>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"This post has nothing to do with “modern projects for old fashioned Nanas” or even sewing, for that matter, but I just couldn’t help sharing this with you.\u00c2\u00a0 A friend just sent me these actual bloopers that appeared in church … Continue reading